I'm not exactly a hard ass. If someone tells me no, usually, I'll take no for an answer. This is especially true at work, where there is a certain type of finagling I am incapable of doing. I can't get our old postage meter returned. I can't get a copy of a bank statement from an auxiliary account because my name isn't on the statement. If I'm told it's time to renew my yellow pages ad, I'll believe you, until I realize we don't have a Yellow Pages ad. A man calls me on the phone and offers me supplies for my credit card machine, I won't realize it's a scam until I get the ginormous bill.
This is how I got involved in the Magazine Scandal. Some lady calls my work, and I answer, because it's my job. She offers me free subscriptions to a number of different magazines, some of which I read, most of which I don't. I say yes, because, who doesn't love free stuff? She tells me that it's a $25 fee, and I think, hey, that's not bad. But it's actually 25 dollars I have to pay every month for the next two years, which is an amount of money I can't even begin to think about, because I'll start crying. The tip off should have been the ambient noise of the call center. You can always tell when it's a call center by the faraway sound of the voice on the other line. I forgot to pay last month, and haven't had a chance to pay the double charge due this month, and they're calling me at work and harassing me for the money. Oh, and I can't cancel the service. They have my voice on tape agreeing to do this, which is legally binding.
This is what I'd like to say to them when they call:
"Hi. Thanks for calling. Please listen carefully, and I would like it if you didn't give me some canned, scripted response. Don't call my work ever again. Because I could get fired for receiving personal phone calls at my job. You think that I don't pay you now? Try getting me to pay you if I'm unemployed. I've told you once, and I'm telling you again. Don't call my job. I know you know which phone number is which. You can dial my number until you're blue in the face, but I'll pay you when I'm good and ready. You might think that threatening to put my account into collections scares me, but you have no idea how bad my credit is already. I say, BRING IT ON! I hope that our exchange today dampens your mood for the rest of the day, you spineless jellyfish. But it probably won't because you do this horrible job, selling your soul, every day. I know your type. You probably use the money to buy cheap beer and marijuana, and have aspirations to win the gaming championship of the world, or to get your horrible excuse for a band discovered. I help people, and you took advantage of me. I help kids pay for wheelchairs. You should feel ashamed of yourself, preying on innocent, entry level people like me, who are just trying to make a difference in the world. I know you're not listening to any of this, and once I stop, you're going to tell me that I agreed to this service, and there is nothing you can do about it, but this is a scam. and you know it. Don't even think of charging my credit card, or I will call my lawyer."
This is how I got involved in the Magazine Scandal. Some lady calls my work, and I answer, because it's my job. She offers me free subscriptions to a number of different magazines, some of which I read, most of which I don't. I say yes, because, who doesn't love free stuff? She tells me that it's a $25 fee, and I think, hey, that's not bad. But it's actually 25 dollars I have to pay every month for the next two years, which is an amount of money I can't even begin to think about, because I'll start crying. The tip off should have been the ambient noise of the call center. You can always tell when it's a call center by the faraway sound of the voice on the other line. I forgot to pay last month, and haven't had a chance to pay the double charge due this month, and they're calling me at work and harassing me for the money. Oh, and I can't cancel the service. They have my voice on tape agreeing to do this, which is legally binding.
This is what I'd like to say to them when they call:
"Hi. Thanks for calling. Please listen carefully, and I would like it if you didn't give me some canned, scripted response. Don't call my work ever again. Because I could get fired for receiving personal phone calls at my job. You think that I don't pay you now? Try getting me to pay you if I'm unemployed. I've told you once, and I'm telling you again. Don't call my job. I know you know which phone number is which. You can dial my number until you're blue in the face, but I'll pay you when I'm good and ready. You might think that threatening to put my account into collections scares me, but you have no idea how bad my credit is already. I say, BRING IT ON! I hope that our exchange today dampens your mood for the rest of the day, you spineless jellyfish. But it probably won't because you do this horrible job, selling your soul, every day. I know your type. You probably use the money to buy cheap beer and marijuana, and have aspirations to win the gaming championship of the world, or to get your horrible excuse for a band discovered. I help people, and you took advantage of me. I help kids pay for wheelchairs. You should feel ashamed of yourself, preying on innocent, entry level people like me, who are just trying to make a difference in the world. I know you're not listening to any of this, and once I stop, you're going to tell me that I agreed to this service, and there is nothing you can do about it, but this is a scam. and you know it. Don't even think of charging my credit card, or I will call my lawyer."
