True Love Will Find You in the End

This is a message of hope. 


And heartache.


And a large amount of bullshit. About a week ago I noticed that my old roommate, Julia, posted on Facebook, "know any good breakup songs?" I, having been through a breakup or two myself, and a lover of pop music know all about the breakup songs. She received a lot of responses on this post, but other than Cee Lo Green's Fuck You, I didn't think that there were all that many appropriate breakup songs, mostly songs that were too obtuse or angry for her to actually be interested in listening to. So I decided to make a mix. I love an excuse to make a good mix. 


Breakup songs. To understand what makes a good breakup song, or the criteria of what makes a song appropriate for this list, it's important to think about the various different states of emotions and various circumstances of a breakup...  sorrow, despair, loneliness, regret, rejection, vengeance, loss, triumph, joy, relief, guilt, hope, solace, grief,  disbelief, denial, depression, bitterness... and the list could go on and on. Lots of stand up comedians (and movies producers) make their living trying to somehow relate to some of these feelings. For this breakup mix, even though I had no idea what Julia's situation was, how long they were together, who initiated the breakup, I tried to cover all the bases. 


After scouring my iTunes for days, I also used my mad Google skills to find this site, a comprehensive top-100 list in which to compare my rough draft list. There were a couple of songs there that either I did't have or thought couldn't quite fit into my mix. Some notable exclusions, Careless Whisper, Against All Odds, Popular (Nada Surf- three important rules for breaking up... should've been my opener), I Fall to Pieces, I Will Survive... Then there were all of those songs Johnny Cash put out after June Carter passed away... death. The ultimate breakup. I might need to make a volume two.  


I believe I titled it, "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry so Fuck You."

I Think I Need a New Heart - "Time stands still, all I can feel is the time standing still, as you put down your keys, and say don't call me please... You've lied too, but let's assume that I can't tell the truth, unless I put it in a song... I'll never stay to say Happy Anniversary, so I think I need a new heart." I guess this guy is talking about his own insecurities about not being able to truly love someone like they (and let's face it, everyone who has love to give) deserve. There are probably a lot of songs from the double disc monster 69 Love Songs that could be included on this list, and I picked the one that was featured in a fucking cat food commercial. 


5 Years Time - This song is deceptively joyous with the claps and whistling and ukuleles...  in reality, at some point in a relationship, you realize that it might not last forever. "And though really all these moments are just in my head, I'll be thinking about them as I'm lying in bed... In five years time, I might not know you, in five years' time, we might not speak a word." Lying in bed, thinking... yeah. This is, for me, the period of time before reality sets in, before you give the stuff back or run into each other in passing. Kind of a, "Did this really happen?" moment. 


I and Love and You - In a way, all songs about love can also be about a breakup- the idea of revisiting that moment that you realized you felt it- and mourning the loss. For me, this song is about realizing you've fallen out of love with someone."My hands they shake, my head it spins, oh Brooklyn, Brooklyn, take me in. Three words that became hard to say, 'I and Love and You.'"


I See a Darkness - Tim and I have fought about this song. I would say that it's the most depressing song I've ever heard, and he would argue that in the rest of the album it gets better and that I just need to take it off repeat, or whatever. When I first moved to Portland, I would sit in the living room of the teeny tiny Market Street apartment Mandy and I shared, with this song on repeat and sob uncontrollably. "Then I see a darkness, did you know how much I love you? Is a hope that somehow you can save me from this darkness." Like maybe if somehow you could convince them of how much you love them, seriously, they'd reconsider. This is a song for the breakupee.


I Found a Reason - This Cat Power cover is so sad in comparison to the original by the Velvet Underground. "I do believe, in all the things you say, what comes is better than what came before." We've all heard this line before in a breakup talk, "You can deserve better, you can do better." And yes, it's probably true if that person has the audacity to undermine your judgement in who you decide to give your love to. These lyrics strike me as both hopeful and disheartening. Hopeful that you'll find someone new who will make you happy, but also disheartening in that you're now burdened with the incredible task of finding that new person.


Ain't it Strange - "Ain't it strange, cause I'm always thinking of you, I need you here... Baby I don't mind, but I know how soon you'll forget me." Yeah. It stings to think about other person in your relationship moving on, like all of the time you spent together was insignificant, or something. I'm always the last one to get over it.


Crown of Love - This was an important change in tone in the mix, and if I understand the crown of love has fallen from him because he screwed up somewhere, and he's trying to get his lover back, because he's still incredibly in love with her. Arcade Fire's Funeral is also arguably my favorite record of all time (yup, going there, saying it, don't care what you think,) and I usually try and sneak a track onto most mixes.


I'm Not Crying - "You can't break my heart, because it's liquid, it melted when I met you. I'm not crying... it's just been raining... on my face." Awesome. 


Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again - Josh and I used to make mixes together all the time, and I think this song came up on a "Rainy Day" mix that he was working on. "Here comes that rainy day feeling again, and soon my tears they will be falling like rain." 


You Just Keep Me Hanging On - Thank you, Diana Ross, for showing us what empowered women look like.  The male love interest in this song is such a manipulative bastard and will not leave her alone. We've all had those times, in a moment of weakness, sometimes there's alcohol involved, where we send a text, write an email, sometimes even *gasp* call. Don't be like the guy she's singin' about here. Let it go.


You Can Go Your Own Way - We're clearly arriving at the "I want to get over you" part of the mix. "Loving you isn't the right thing to do," then later repeated like a dozen times, "You can go your own way." The love hexagon in this band made for some crazy awesome songwriting. Of course, they were all on tour together, so there was no way to go their own way.


These Arms of Mine - Oh, wait, and we're back to sad. I picked James Carr's version because it's slightly more heartbreaking Otis Redding's version, and I also wanted to use a different Otis Redding song later... This is an incredible song, regardless of who sings it, and takes one completely different meanings to people who are in love and out of love.  "These arms of mine, they are lonely, lonely and feeling blue. These arms of mine, they are wanting, wanting to hold you." You know the feeling of being used to sleeping next to someone, then all of a sudden they aren't there anymore. What was once their side of the bed is like a black hole, or that cavern that guy falls in then has to cut his forearm off to save himself in "Between a Rock and a Hard Place, " now a major motion picture starring James Franco. 


About Today - When I think about the National, I think about this song. "How close am I to losing you... Tonight you just close your eyes and I just watch you slip away." It's got to be the violins that make this song so heartbreaking for me. But it also seems like the singer has no idea what he's done to be put in this situation where he's losing something he loves. 


I've Been Loving You Too Long - I decided to include this song after seeing it on that top 100 breakup song list. I'd say more, but I'm still so sad from listening to that National clip.


Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Two ex-lovers are at a party and they're introduced by some mutual friends who didn't know they were once lovers. (Welcome to Portland.) 


Kiss Off - This is for those moments in the breakup process when you're really angry and bitter, a how could you do this to me!? sort of thing. I seem to remember turning this up extremely loud, on repeat and jumping on my bed and yelling "TEN TEN TEN TEN FOR EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!!"


Why Bother - "Why bother, it's gonna hurt me, it's gonna kill when you desert me," Like, I've been through this, I know how it ends, I might as well just stop while I'm ahead. Pinkerton is another one of my all time favorite albums, which is how this song made it to this mix.


Since U Been Gone - Although there's never a situation in which I approve of the use of U instead of You, this song does an excellent job narrating a relationship from beginning to end in less than four minutes. Darcy and I have had a number of maximum volume sing alongs to this song. Thank you, Kelly Clarkson, for reminding us that more often than not, things eventually get a lot better after ending an unhappy relationship.


Fuck You - Cee Lo says what we're all seriously thinking, but the brilliance of this song is that the swear is so misplaced in the song itself. You expect the f-bomb in certain kinds of songs, but this isn't one of them, "I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough, I'm like fuck you, and fuck her too." A cynic would've ended the mix here.


True Love Will Find You in the End - I honestly believe if you work hard to be happy in life, to be a good person, don't give up on yourself, open your heart and let love in (oh gosh I'm going to stop here before I accidentally vomit on my keyboard), true love will find you in the end.