Toilet Paper Wedding Dress

My coworker Katie, the one who gives me the tomatoes off of her salad and lets me pick out the least-beer-y beer for her, had her bridal shower today. Much to my delight, it wasn't horrible! We had a good time! The food was great, her family is really entertaining, and I probably had one glass of champagne spiked punch too many, considering it was two o'clock in the afternoon. She looked beautiful, got a million gifts, and wasn't too embarrassed by the box "to be shared with your husband."

But you see, my first real bridal shower left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. She was my neighbor growing up- she was nineteen, and had been dating her fiance since sixteen. There was food, presents, relatives, the usual ho-hum. Then the games began. If you've ever been to a bridal shower, I'm sure you've played this game too. The toilet paper wedding dress game. (Katie, if you're reading this, I know that I just used a fragment sentence.) I was actually pretty psyched- at the time I considered myself something of an artist. My sister was the model and I made the best looking toilet paper dress in five minutes. It had a fitted bodice, trumpet skirt down to her calves, it really looked like a dress! However, it lost to a dress with a plastic cup bra a la Madonna modeled by some elderly, overweight aunt or something. Everyone thought it was hilarious! I was furious, and vowed never to play the game again OR to have fun at a bridal shower again.

I had just finished telling this story to Kelly, when some Memere came out with five rolls of unwrapped toilet paper. We looked at each other as soon as we saw them with the expression, "Holy Shit!" With Pauline, our boss, who is another veteran toilet paper dress maker, my coworkers and I made a dress so stunningly beautiful it will be remembered by all who was there to witness it. I'm not sure if I'd told this tragic tale to Katie or not, but she picked our dress! Redemption!

There will be a picture, eventually, but until then, look what I found when I Googled toilet paper wedding dress:



Apparently, there are contests...

These photos need no introduction

Last week on Conan

It's no secret that I'm a Sex and the City fan. Love it.

Has anyone else noticed how amazing Sarah Jessica Parker's ankles are?

Get Smart

I'm really excited to see this.

It was my Birthday!

I'm not usually this into birthdays, really, I'm not. Sure, there have been a few really awesome ones (ten-day birthday in Burlington, that boys vs. girls dance off at Darcy's, TCBY) and a few really bad ones (Captain Newick's, that time in Beverly when I didn't tell anyone.) I suppose I was craving attention or something, because this year, I told everyone.

You could say the celebration began on the Friday before, where my coworkers showered me with unexpected gifts, such as a bright yellow Steve Madden clutch, which I can't wait to take out, cupcakes, a gift certificate to the bakery, and a Charlie from Lost figurine with real sound from the movie "You All Everybody." Which has got to be the stupidest made-up hit song ever. Work didn't end until AFTER we got home from a fundraiser which happened to be a middle school dance. There were little mini versions of Pete Wentz, his girlfriend Ashlee Simpson, and his best friend the Panic at the Disco guy. Now I know what the Soulja Boy dance is, too (look it up on YouTube).

Saturday morning Heather and Darcy treated me to the Port Hole's version of the Grand Slam. We picked up Andrea, then did a ridiculous photo shoot at Darcy's, where we pretended to be professional figure skaters.


Josh took me out to a delicious sushi dinner, where he gave me the surprise of my life. He snuck out and gave the waitress my birthday present and a giant balloon. Then, the entire waitstaff came out with my ice cream, my present, and sang. I was so surprised.

After Jonathan Pappelbon struck out three batters in a row, and yes, he is on our fantasy team, Josh and I headed to the Top of the East, where I was about to accomplish the only two goals I had for my birthday: look hot and get drunk. Sammie and Isaac were waiting for us, and about thirteen more of my friends showed up. It was so nice to have everyone there just for me! All of my favorite people came, except for those who live far, far away, have babies or went to Man Man in Boston. We read Laffy Taffy jokes, Rebecca gave me earrings, Mandy brought presents too, Heather almost asked out a decorated Navel officer, Andrea charmed my friends with her out of town-ness, a large black man bought me a drink, and I met a real life Gaysian.


You can't tell from this photo, but my dress showed wicked cleavage. I was also wearing my "sexy" heels. Too bad it's over until next year. Also too bad my cat totally fell in love with Andrea. Slut. The cat, not Andrea.

And if any of you are reading this and thinking, but you didn't remember my birthday, I probably didn't... you should just remind me.

Batman?

Malcolm Gladwell wrote this book you might have heard of called the Tipping Point. It's on the NY Times best-seller list, or something. It also happens to be the book I'm reading right now. It's about how little things can make a huge difference. There is this chapter about the power of context, and as an example Gladwell talks about how New York City was ridden with crime, murders everywhere, conspiracy, and then in five years the crime rate dropped by 60% or something. And the way city officials were able to make the city safer by cleaning up the graffiti on the subway and stopping homeless people from peeing on the streets. Sounds like baby steps, right? The thinking was that if a potential criminal sees all these little crimes being committed, who is going to stop him from shooting someone.

MY thinking was, why not just do that Bat signal thing and get Batman to clean up the city? I'm also really excited for the new Batman movie.