For the most part, I'm completely silent at the gym, with the exception of a phone call or two here and there. These are some of the questions I ask myself over and over when I'm alone with my thoughts and an elliptical.
Does anyone care if I'm on the phone right now?
Will anyone notice/think I'm insane if I dance-run?
Does this sports bra make me look skinnier because it squashes my boobs, making my figure more of a column than an hourglass?
How long would it take paramedics to get here if I pass out? This place is a fucking maze.
Is is possible that these men aren't actually here to lift weights and are just hanging out?
If I fall off this thing, which would be worse: the shame, or the injury?
How much of a tuition increase would we need to get some TVs up in this bitch?
WHY does that man always make eye contact with me?
What kind of music does the trick here- GnR, Hercules and Love Affair, Cult Maze, Katy Perry?
Will I be reprimanded if I don't write my time on the white board? If I go over the 30 minute time limit?
Would my relationship be in danger in Cleveland happened to see how disgusting/ridiculous I look during/after my workout?
If none of the individual items in my locker smell, why is the collective smell so bad?
Do these sneakers suck?
Why can't the water pressure at my house be this good??
May 27, 2011
May 20, 2011
Raaaaaapture.
Kevin inspired me with his own End of the World mix so much that I had to try my hand at one.
When composing the list, though, I decided to make it a narrative of someone about to experience the Rapture. Then I had to decide, was this person a sinner? Would this person be leaving any loved ones behind? There are probably about a zillion songs about being naughty or love lost, so I decided that my hypothetical person would be Catholic, well, me. Catholics can basically sin all they want, live with the nagging guilt, and as long as they apologize to God and ask for forgiveness, into Heaven it is.*
(*I'm sure the crazy Rapture zealots would probably argue this point, but this is pretty much how I was raised, so I'ma go for it. Plus it lends a bit of drama to the mix.)
Multiple songs off of Brenda's EP would've been appropriate to use, but their songs weren't on the playlist website. And a lot of the songs on George Harrison's All Things Must Pass would've been appropriate, too: My Sweet Lord, What Is Life, Awaiting On You All, Beware of Darkness, All Things Must Pass, Isn't it a Pity, Hear Me Lord, Out of the Blue.
Anyway, here is my Rapture Concept Album mix thing.
1. Glee Cast, "Friday." Cereal, buses, fun fun fun, Partyin' partyin' yeah. Sounds pretty much like my life, as-is.
2. George Harrison, "What Is Life." This is my existential crisis song, the realization that the Rapture might actually be coming, not knowing what will happen.
3. David Bowie, "Golden Years." Remember all of the awesome times. "Nights are warm and the days are young... Nothings gonna touch you in these golden years." Life has been great, whatever life is. I mean, that's what people say happens when you're faced with death- a flashback. This subtly danceable track also appears in A Knight's Tale. Heath Ledger, RIP.
4. George Michael, "Careless Whisper" Oh, wait a minute. I don't want to die. I don't want to never dance again, the way I danced with you. Cue saxophone.
5. Chicago, "Hard to Say I'm Sorry." God, It's me. I know I've been a little shit and I want to apologize for all of my wrongdoings, but seriously. I don't feel sorry and misbehaving has been really fun... What's that? Oh, yup, you're right. Father, forgive me for my sins. It has been approximately thirteen years since my last confession. I hope you're sitting in a comfortable pew because this going to take a long time.
6. Jeff Buckley, "Hallelujah." Token six-minute spiritual track.
7. The Kinks, "This Time Tomorrow." What's it going to be like? Death, heaven, afterlife? This is something I've always been scared to think about. The uncertainty of it all is just too much, it can be all-consuming. "I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm going to see-heee-eee."
8. Spoon, "I Summon You." Woo hoo! I'm in! See you all in Heaven, bitches!
9. Devo, "Gut Feeling." OMG it's going to happen.(I wanted to work out Devo and Kinks together as a little Wes Anderson homage, but it didn't quite work out.)
10, 11. Blondie, "Rapture" and Rapture "Whoo! Alright- Yeah... Uh-huh." Two awesome songs with the word 'Rapture' to indicate in the timeline that the Rapture happened. In my version of the Rapture, it lasts like five minutes and not five months. Please note that a dummy in my Media Studies class tried to argue which came first, rap or hip hop, when we were discussing the history of music and this Blondie tune came up as an example of an early mainstream rap anthem.
12. Talking Heads "Heaven." Everyone has a different idea of what Heaven is. I think this place sounds pretty good.
13. Fleet Foxes, "Quiet Town." Everything is quiet because everyone is either dead or hangin' with the apostles and saints and stuff.
14. Daniel Johnston, "Devil Town." A reflection on the life I had been leading, "I was living in a Devil town."
When composing the list, though, I decided to make it a narrative of someone about to experience the Rapture. Then I had to decide, was this person a sinner? Would this person be leaving any loved ones behind? There are probably about a zillion songs about being naughty or love lost, so I decided that my hypothetical person would be Catholic, well, me. Catholics can basically sin all they want, live with the nagging guilt, and as long as they apologize to God and ask for forgiveness, into Heaven it is.*
(*I'm sure the crazy Rapture zealots would probably argue this point, but this is pretty much how I was raised, so I'ma go for it. Plus it lends a bit of drama to the mix.)
Multiple songs off of Brenda's EP would've been appropriate to use, but their songs weren't on the playlist website. And a lot of the songs on George Harrison's All Things Must Pass would've been appropriate, too: My Sweet Lord, What Is Life, Awaiting On You All, Beware of Darkness, All Things Must Pass, Isn't it a Pity, Hear Me Lord, Out of the Blue.
Anyway, here is my Rapture Concept Album mix thing.
1. Glee Cast, "Friday." Cereal, buses, fun fun fun, Partyin' partyin' yeah. Sounds pretty much like my life, as-is.
2. George Harrison, "What Is Life." This is my existential crisis song, the realization that the Rapture might actually be coming, not knowing what will happen.
3. David Bowie, "Golden Years." Remember all of the awesome times. "Nights are warm and the days are young... Nothings gonna touch you in these golden years." Life has been great, whatever life is. I mean, that's what people say happens when you're faced with death- a flashback. This subtly danceable track also appears in A Knight's Tale. Heath Ledger, RIP.
4. George Michael, "Careless Whisper" Oh, wait a minute. I don't want to die. I don't want to never dance again, the way I danced with you. Cue saxophone.
5. Chicago, "Hard to Say I'm Sorry." God, It's me. I know I've been a little shit and I want to apologize for all of my wrongdoings, but seriously. I don't feel sorry and misbehaving has been really fun... What's that? Oh, yup, you're right. Father, forgive me for my sins. It has been approximately thirteen years since my last confession. I hope you're sitting in a comfortable pew because this going to take a long time.
6. Jeff Buckley, "Hallelujah." Token six-minute spiritual track.
7. The Kinks, "This Time Tomorrow." What's it going to be like? Death, heaven, afterlife? This is something I've always been scared to think about. The uncertainty of it all is just too much, it can be all-consuming. "I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm going to see-heee-eee."
8. Spoon, "I Summon You." Woo hoo! I'm in! See you all in Heaven, bitches!
9. Devo, "Gut Feeling." OMG it's going to happen.(I wanted to work out Devo and Kinks together as a little Wes Anderson homage, but it didn't quite work out.)
10, 11. Blondie, "Rapture" and Rapture "Whoo! Alright- Yeah... Uh-huh." Two awesome songs with the word 'Rapture' to indicate in the timeline that the Rapture happened. In my version of the Rapture, it lasts like five minutes and not five months. Please note that a dummy in my Media Studies class tried to argue which came first, rap or hip hop, when we were discussing the history of music and this Blondie tune came up as an example of an early mainstream rap anthem.
12. Talking Heads "Heaven." Everyone has a different idea of what Heaven is. I think this place sounds pretty good.
13. Fleet Foxes, "Quiet Town." Everything is quiet because everyone is either dead or hangin' with the apostles and saints and stuff.
14. Daniel Johnston, "Devil Town." A reflection on the life I had been leading, "I was living in a Devil town."
Animal Shelter PSA
I need to take a second to speak my mind about something that I've felt very passionate about for a long time but have only expressed my views to a few close friends who would listen. It's unusual for me to diverge from the casual, entertaining nature of this here web log, but I just need a soap box for a second.
The first cat we ever had growing up was an orange tabby that one of my father's friends found starving in a snowbank. I was probably 8 or 9, and decided to name him Mittens. Original, I know, and much better than Sargent, the name my dad wanted to give him because of the stripes on his shoulders. Mittens and I bonded right away, like I was some kind of cat whisperer. Next came Patches, who we adopted as a kitten from a friend of my mother's. Both of our cats growing up were really great, and I remember how upset my mom was when Mittens got sick and went in the woods to die (he was pretty dignified, for a cat.)
Back at my old non-profit job, one of my coworkers would bring her purebred French bulldog to puppy play time. She recounted a particularly horrible experience, when another dog, "some dumb mutt" got aggressive with her dog.
"Some dumb mutt?" I thought. "Some dumb mutt who was probably rescued from a cardboard box only to live in a kennel, seeing the light of day for half an hour if it's lucky? I'm sorry, but how much exactly did you pay for your stupid inbred dog? And how many dogs at the shelter could that amount of money have fed and or neutered?"
Of course, I didn't say these things, because I liked the people I was working with, as well as the bulldog. But I just don't understand. People who pay exorbitant amounts of money for their pets have either clearly never set foot inside a shelter or are too impatient, vain or heartless to give a crap. (I'm sure that's not completely true, but I can't get over it.) The maid of honor of the wedding I'm in this fall was just gifted a $650 kitten. No, the kitten isn't made of gold and it's very poorly behaved.
I was just looking at all of the area animal shelter websites and when I came across the Success Stories at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society, I read like, three before I was moved to tears by the touching letters. In a lot of cases, the it was the people, not just the pets who were in need. They were filling voids in each other's lives.
Cleveland spent some time working at the animal shelter when he was between professional jobs. He said that working there was emotionally exhausting, referring to something he called "shelter burnout." Surrounded by the disparity of sad lonely animals and irreverent, careless former owners all day, it's not surprising. Sometimes the first person to arrive in the morning would find a box at the door, and have to proceed with caution- not knowing if it was a box of food, blankets, kittens or snakes.
Seriously, look at this PSA and tell me you don't tear up a little. It makes me want to run home and hug my little cat with the enthusiasm of Lennie from Of Mice and Men, just shy of the accidental crushing part.
I may not have the money or the means to contribute as much as I'd like to at our local Animal Refuge League. But I do get the satisfaction of knowing I gave my little love bug a home, and she's happy to be here. Mostly.
The first cat we ever had growing up was an orange tabby that one of my father's friends found starving in a snowbank. I was probably 8 or 9, and decided to name him Mittens. Original, I know, and much better than Sargent, the name my dad wanted to give him because of the stripes on his shoulders. Mittens and I bonded right away, like I was some kind of cat whisperer. Next came Patches, who we adopted as a kitten from a friend of my mother's. Both of our cats growing up were really great, and I remember how upset my mom was when Mittens got sick and went in the woods to die (he was pretty dignified, for a cat.)
Back at my old non-profit job, one of my coworkers would bring her purebred French bulldog to puppy play time. She recounted a particularly horrible experience, when another dog, "some dumb mutt" got aggressive with her dog.
"Some dumb mutt?" I thought. "Some dumb mutt who was probably rescued from a cardboard box only to live in a kennel, seeing the light of day for half an hour if it's lucky? I'm sorry, but how much exactly did you pay for your stupid inbred dog? And how many dogs at the shelter could that amount of money have fed and or neutered?"
Of course, I didn't say these things, because I liked the people I was working with, as well as the bulldog. But I just don't understand. People who pay exorbitant amounts of money for their pets have either clearly never set foot inside a shelter or are too impatient, vain or heartless to give a crap. (I'm sure that's not completely true, but I can't get over it.) The maid of honor of the wedding I'm in this fall was just gifted a $650 kitten. No, the kitten isn't made of gold and it's very poorly behaved.
I was just looking at all of the area animal shelter websites and when I came across the Success Stories at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society, I read like, three before I was moved to tears by the touching letters. In a lot of cases, the it was the people, not just the pets who were in need. They were filling voids in each other's lives.
Cleveland spent some time working at the animal shelter when he was between professional jobs. He said that working there was emotionally exhausting, referring to something he called "shelter burnout." Surrounded by the disparity of sad lonely animals and irreverent, careless former owners all day, it's not surprising. Sometimes the first person to arrive in the morning would find a box at the door, and have to proceed with caution- not knowing if it was a box of food, blankets, kittens or snakes.
Seriously, look at this PSA and tell me you don't tear up a little. It makes me want to run home and hug my little cat with the enthusiasm of Lennie from Of Mice and Men, just shy of the accidental crushing part.
I may not have the money or the means to contribute as much as I'd like to at our local Animal Refuge League. But I do get the satisfaction of knowing I gave my little love bug a home, and she's happy to be here. Mostly.
May 17, 2011
Comediennes of Comedy in Bridesmaids
Relationships of all sorts can be tricky. Having a lot of listening, patience and compromise isn't always easy.
Here's the dress that I'll be forced to wear:
I didn't want to be the difficult one, but I really would rather wear the first one, but the other bridesmaid decided that she loved this one. In these circumstances, you have to speak your mind FIRST and then let everyone else decide how to deal with your decision.
But here's the shitty part, and how Bridesmaids the move sort of came true: I forgot my wallet when Crystal picked me up. Oldest trick in the book, right? No! I had no id! I couldn't drink! And like a child, she has to foot the bill for me the whole trip. Yeah, she picked me up, too, because I'm a loser without a license.
So the whole weekend I was trying to fit in with the group despite the fact that I was the loser friend from childhood who forgot her wallet and didn't like anything that the rest of the group liked.
Which is why when the Maid of Honor suggested the bachelorette party be in New York City, I was pretty quick to agree. She thinks that Crystal would really enjoy getting out to the big city. When I asked Crystal if there was a part of New York she was interested in seeing she said, Times Square. You say Times Square to me, and I think of two things: Rudy Giuliani's quest to clean up (gentrify) the city, and Total Request Live. Not exactly the classy, sheik sort of soiree I'm sure Crystal has in mind.
Then I remembered how awesome Portland is, how it won't take any of us six hours or $150 to get to Portland as opposed to NYC, and how much I want the bachelorette party moved here. We'll keep it classy! Portland Harbor Hotel (money saved on train fare could go toward Jacuzzi suite... just sayin'), Schooner cruise, Fore Street, Bar of Chocolate, etc, etc. Then in the morning, Jazz brunch at the Museum, or Local 188... I was so excited about planning the classy Portland party that I almost couldn't get to sleep. It was then that I realized why event planners are so awesome. They get paid to give people their opinion of what will be fun.
I'll keep everyone updated on the wedding planning.
Like last Friday, when I was sort of into going to this local comedy thing and Cleveland sort of wasn't. I didn't want to be that person who is always trapped in a love bubble, but I also didn't want to go alone (seemed like no one else was around. Let me rephrase that- Mandy wasn't around.) Cleveland saw my predicament and offered to take me to see Bridesmaids.
I've always thought that Kristin Wiig and her weird chin/neck skin thing was always pretty funny, and this movie certainly wasn't a disappointment. Like many movies with writers/actors attempting to graduate from SNL (Mean Girls, Hot Rod, Anchorman, Blues Brothers...) I laughed out loud. Cleveland laughed out loud. The highlight for me was the joke in which a high schooler tells Kristin Wiig that she looked like "an old mop." Kind of like this:
Anyway, the other funny part about seeing Bridesmaids with Cleveland, besides the fact that he's a man, was that I am a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding, just like in the movie. I was hanging out with the female portion of the wedding party the following night, and guess what they suggested? Going to see Bridesmaids!
Kristin Wiig plays this woman Annie, who can't get out of her own way. A number of times, this quirky childhood friend ends up somehow ruining a number of wedding-related events. She is disorganized, broke, and out of touch with the new life of the bride. Sound familiar? That's exactly the role I have in Crystal's wedding, except that I'm not the Maid of Honor.
I was traveling with Crystal and her fiance to meet two of the other bridesmaids in a far, distant corner of Massachusetts, (just Mass, to those acquainted) where we would hang out with a $650 Siamese kitten named Bandit, go to the movies (the theater in Millbury was the biggest, best movie theater I've ever been to), watch "Say Yes to the Dress" (not kidding), and eventually try our hand at finding dresses at David's Bridal. I hadn't been to a David's since I picked up my junior prom dress there, but let me tell you, it was full of really unattractive women. No really, I'm not trying to brag about my little motley crew- but Crystal was by far the prettiest bride-to-be.
Here's the dress that the Maid of Honor gets to wear:
I've always thought that Kristin Wiig and her weird chin/neck skin thing was always pretty funny, and this movie certainly wasn't a disappointment. Like many movies with writers/actors attempting to graduate from SNL (Mean Girls, Hot Rod, Anchorman, Blues Brothers...) I laughed out loud. Cleveland laughed out loud. The highlight for me was the joke in which a high schooler tells Kristin Wiig that she looked like "an old mop." Kind of like this:
Anyway, the other funny part about seeing Bridesmaids with Cleveland, besides the fact that he's a man, was that I am a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding, just like in the movie. I was hanging out with the female portion of the wedding party the following night, and guess what they suggested? Going to see Bridesmaids!
Kristin Wiig plays this woman Annie, who can't get out of her own way. A number of times, this quirky childhood friend ends up somehow ruining a number of wedding-related events. She is disorganized, broke, and out of touch with the new life of the bride. Sound familiar? That's exactly the role I have in Crystal's wedding, except that I'm not the Maid of Honor.
I was traveling with Crystal and her fiance to meet two of the other bridesmaids in a far, distant corner of Massachusetts, (just Mass, to those acquainted) where we would hang out with a $650 Siamese kitten named Bandit, go to the movies (the theater in Millbury was the biggest, best movie theater I've ever been to), watch "Say Yes to the Dress" (not kidding), and eventually try our hand at finding dresses at David's Bridal. I hadn't been to a David's since I picked up my junior prom dress there, but let me tell you, it was full of really unattractive women. No really, I'm not trying to brag about my little motley crew- but Crystal was by far the prettiest bride-to-be.
Here's the dress that the Maid of Honor gets to wear:
Here's the dress that I'll be forced to wear:
I didn't want to be the difficult one, but I really would rather wear the first one, but the other bridesmaid decided that she loved this one. In these circumstances, you have to speak your mind FIRST and then let everyone else decide how to deal with your decision.
But here's the shitty part, and how Bridesmaids the move sort of came true: I forgot my wallet when Crystal picked me up. Oldest trick in the book, right? No! I had no id! I couldn't drink! And like a child, she has to foot the bill for me the whole trip. Yeah, she picked me up, too, because I'm a loser without a license.
So the whole weekend I was trying to fit in with the group despite the fact that I was the loser friend from childhood who forgot her wallet and didn't like anything that the rest of the group liked.
Which is why when the Maid of Honor suggested the bachelorette party be in New York City, I was pretty quick to agree. She thinks that Crystal would really enjoy getting out to the big city. When I asked Crystal if there was a part of New York she was interested in seeing she said, Times Square. You say Times Square to me, and I think of two things: Rudy Giuliani's quest to clean up (gentrify) the city, and Total Request Live. Not exactly the classy, sheik sort of soiree I'm sure Crystal has in mind.
Then I remembered how awesome Portland is, how it won't take any of us six hours or $150 to get to Portland as opposed to NYC, and how much I want the bachelorette party moved here. We'll keep it classy! Portland Harbor Hotel (money saved on train fare could go toward Jacuzzi suite... just sayin'), Schooner cruise, Fore Street, Bar of Chocolate, etc, etc. Then in the morning, Jazz brunch at the Museum, or Local 188... I was so excited about planning the classy Portland party that I almost couldn't get to sleep. It was then that I realized why event planners are so awesome. They get paid to give people their opinion of what will be fun.
I'll keep everyone updated on the wedding planning.
May 10, 2011
Spring Fling
Okay, so I've been going a little bit crazy, looking at fashion blogs and shopping online and shit. No really, like non-stop. At the beginning of every semester I get a fatty student loan reimbursement, and I usually allow myself a very small spree to make up for shopping at the Sal all year. This is despite my roommate's ongoing advice to 'make a budget.' My budget plan is to deal with being poor.
I've been meaning to upload a picture of the crazy fascinator that I made for the Kentucky Derby party, which ALMOST earned me a Finest Filly award, but instead I had to find an outlet (excuse) for all the shopping I've been doing. Here's one of those collage thingees that I see fashion bloggers making all the time about shit they want/have/love. Most of these things will work well in conjunction to the jean/t-shirt and occasional printed scarf and/or crazy boot combo.
Note: that is a picture of Mandy's ass, but those jeans were too small for me/already sold.
Oh, and this too.
May 9, 2011
Ten Years Ago...
I was about to be a senior in high school. I was really excited about applying to art school, I had some great friends, I was dating a few nice guys here and there. I think I was driving a maroon 1992 Ford Mustang and I had my whole life ahead of me. Or something.
I found this list that we complied in an english class (I believe). Everyone wrote down something positive about each classmate, and the teacher compiled the list and gave it to each of us. I happened to keep and recently rediscover my list... this is what people in my high school english class had to say about me:
AMANDA:
AWESOME PERSONALITY
MAKES FRIENDS EASILY
CONFIDENT
KNOWS WHERE SHE'S GOING (This is sort of funny... Know where I'm going? Like, into debt?)
DOESN'T LET ANYTHING STAND IN HER WAY
SELF CONFIDENT
VERY SMART AND I ADMIRE HER
SHE CAN GIVE HER OPINION WITHOUT BEING PUSHY
SHE SHOULD HAVE HER OWN TALK SHOW (What??)
SHE'S FUNNY, SMART, CREATIVE AND GIVES REAL GOOD ADVICE
HER COOL CHARACTER GIVES THE CLASS AN HONEST OPINION AND RELAXED ATMOSPHERE
SHE BASES THINGS ON HOW IT IS AND HOW IT SHOULD BE
A NATURAL LEADER
HONEST
EXPRESSES HERSELF WELL
HAS A GREAT SENSE OF STYLE (Yes!!)
KIND, COURTEOUS
THE COURAGE TO STAND UP TO PEOPLE WHEN NECESSARY
Well. I can't say I remember very much about this class, except that Beowulf was the only book I've ever not read for class and consulted Spark Notes. I just couldn't get through it. Anyway, thank goodness that one classmate said that I was kind and courteous because I was starting to think everyone thought I was a bitchy know it all.
May 8, 2011
Munjoy Hill Cocoon
I know I don't talk about school very often, but the Spring semester is VERY close to being over, I have one final left. Then hopefully, I'll be done the following Spring.
In my Writing the Feature Story class, we all participated in a peer-review workshop. One of my older classmates often has a theme with his stories, "Kids today" (shakes finger.) His paper was about how audience fragmentation and the consumer dictating the market in the music industry has led to Top 40 music being total shit. We talked a lot about it, and he actually ended quoting me in the piece- once about my love for Gaga and Katy Perry, and once about the safety of using cell phones as a defense mechanism. Just shows how many interviews he actually conducted... But anyway, there was a passage about how iPods and smart phones have enabled people in society to cocoon themselves, giving us a lack of social interaction and sense of community. Again, I disagreed, saying that I rely on my cocoon to get me through the Greater Portland Metro Bus ride every day. Citing again that one time I wasn't wearing my headphones and this guy ended up showing me his colostomy bag from his last trip to the ER because he was stabbed in the abdomen.
Sometimes, though, it can be difficult to remember that when you're in public and you're wearing headphones, you aren't really invisible, although you feel invisible.
I had just set out for a mini-East End shopping excursion- mangoes at Rosemont, seltzer at Colucci's, and Epsom salt for ahem, a medical issue I'd been having. There was a man standing outside of an apartment building which notoriously has all kinds of trash and shit on the sidewalk all summer. He was probably about 6'1", black oversize hoodie, baseball cap. Maybe a facial piercing or cubic zirconia studded earrings. He was probably somewhere between 18-22, I don't know, I'm a terrible judge of age. I crossed the street towards him and his friends while another woman, middle-aged, middle class, was also approaching them from the other direction. She was walking some sort of hound dog.
The man started asking her if she used to live near Washington Square, because he used to live near Washington Square. He must've recognized her dog. I was listening for some clues about where the hell Washington Square is, and then I noticed that the guy's face was covered in a bright red rash. But I kept walking and didn't really think anything of it, except that I was going to have to ask Rebecca when I got home where Washington Square was...
I was almost at the bottom of the hill when this guy and his girlfriend (or, the woman he happened to be holding hands with) and yelled in my face: "DID YOU GET A GOOD FUCKING LOOK AT MY FACE NOW?" He was obviously really angry, and I was annoyed because I happened to be texting Cleveland- walking and texting is hard enough as it is. But then I realized that to him, it must've looked like he was some sort of medical oddity or something. Honestly between my bad vision and my curiosity about Washington Square, I barely noticed it was something other than acne. Nothing on Web MD seemed to look the same as what this guy had, btw.
But I'm even sympathetic to people staring at you because of weird face things- after that car accident, I had to wear an eye patch or sunglasses to work at a coffee shop. I get it. He continued angrily yelling things at me, and I continued to pretend like I didn't hear him, thank to my iPhone. Then I heard him yell something like, "AND I'LL FUCK UP YOUR BOYFRIEND, TOO!" from further down the road. Which was weird because how the was he supposed to know that I'm in a relationship? Did he Facebook me? Good thing I have ol' Cleve, because if some random stranger told me they were going to beat up my boyfriend and my boyfriend was non-existent, I would've been really sad.
Anyway, the icing on the cake was that then they walked into Rite Aid, which is where I was going. Instead of following them in and risk getting stabbed, I walked around the block a few times to ensure my safety. Hours before, Cleveland updated his FB status with "It is a wonder how we ever avoided eye contact before the age of the iphone."
It's also ironic that a man who bartends at Forest Gardens, a dive bar near campus that I hang out at sometimes, lives on the hill and says one of the great things about Munjoy Hill is that people actually look you in the eye.
What a weird day.
In my Writing the Feature Story class, we all participated in a peer-review workshop. One of my older classmates often has a theme with his stories, "Kids today" (shakes finger.) His paper was about how audience fragmentation and the consumer dictating the market in the music industry has led to Top 40 music being total shit. We talked a lot about it, and he actually ended quoting me in the piece- once about my love for Gaga and Katy Perry, and once about the safety of using cell phones as a defense mechanism. Just shows how many interviews he actually conducted... But anyway, there was a passage about how iPods and smart phones have enabled people in society to cocoon themselves, giving us a lack of social interaction and sense of community. Again, I disagreed, saying that I rely on my cocoon to get me through the Greater Portland Metro Bus ride every day. Citing again that one time I wasn't wearing my headphones and this guy ended up showing me his colostomy bag from his last trip to the ER because he was stabbed in the abdomen.
Sometimes, though, it can be difficult to remember that when you're in public and you're wearing headphones, you aren't really invisible, although you feel invisible.
I had just set out for a mini-East End shopping excursion- mangoes at Rosemont, seltzer at Colucci's, and Epsom salt for ahem, a medical issue I'd been having. There was a man standing outside of an apartment building which notoriously has all kinds of trash and shit on the sidewalk all summer. He was probably about 6'1", black oversize hoodie, baseball cap. Maybe a facial piercing or cubic zirconia studded earrings. He was probably somewhere between 18-22, I don't know, I'm a terrible judge of age. I crossed the street towards him and his friends while another woman, middle-aged, middle class, was also approaching them from the other direction. She was walking some sort of hound dog.
The man started asking her if she used to live near Washington Square, because he used to live near Washington Square. He must've recognized her dog. I was listening for some clues about where the hell Washington Square is, and then I noticed that the guy's face was covered in a bright red rash. But I kept walking and didn't really think anything of it, except that I was going to have to ask Rebecca when I got home where Washington Square was...
I was almost at the bottom of the hill when this guy and his girlfriend (or, the woman he happened to be holding hands with) and yelled in my face: "DID YOU GET A GOOD FUCKING LOOK AT MY FACE NOW?" He was obviously really angry, and I was annoyed because I happened to be texting Cleveland- walking and texting is hard enough as it is. But then I realized that to him, it must've looked like he was some sort of medical oddity or something. Honestly between my bad vision and my curiosity about Washington Square, I barely noticed it was something other than acne. Nothing on Web MD seemed to look the same as what this guy had, btw.
But I'm even sympathetic to people staring at you because of weird face things- after that car accident, I had to wear an eye patch or sunglasses to work at a coffee shop. I get it. He continued angrily yelling things at me, and I continued to pretend like I didn't hear him, thank to my iPhone. Then I heard him yell something like, "AND I'LL FUCK UP YOUR BOYFRIEND, TOO!" from further down the road. Which was weird because how the was he supposed to know that I'm in a relationship? Did he Facebook me? Good thing I have ol' Cleve, because if some random stranger told me they were going to beat up my boyfriend and my boyfriend was non-existent, I would've been really sad.
Anyway, the icing on the cake was that then they walked into Rite Aid, which is where I was going. Instead of following them in and risk getting stabbed, I walked around the block a few times to ensure my safety. Hours before, Cleveland updated his FB status with "It is a wonder how we ever avoided eye contact before the age of the iphone."
It's also ironic that a man who bartends at Forest Gardens, a dive bar near campus that I hang out at sometimes, lives on the hill and says one of the great things about Munjoy Hill is that people actually look you in the eye.
What a weird day.
May 4, 2011
Blogger turned Model for Charity, cont'd.
So, the fashion show was... interesting. Here is something else I wrote for the Free Press, in preparation. Laura was nice enough to give me a ride, and upon our arrival at Pulse (which is on the Cinemagic side of the brook, btw) we were greeted by an enthusiastic 13 year old with pink hair and Converse All Star knee-high boots. We were told via email that 'check in' for models and designers was between 4-4:30. At 4:27, they were still setting up, and Pink Hair told us that the check in person wasn't there yet, but we could just, you know, put our stuff down and hang out. For the record, the one job of the check in person is to check people in.
From there, we basically spent the next three (no joke) hours hanging out, watching girls get their hair done and change into the outfits they were going to model. At one point, Ashley showed up and said she was there to volunteer. Her volunteer duties included arriving, being told to stand around until someone found a job for her. Apparently, after the check in person showed up, all of the jobs were taken because Ashley, Laura and I had a lot of time to check out (ahem, critique) all of the hair, makeup, and fashion unfolding around us. Lucky for me, Laura and Ashley are probably some of the most stylish people I've ever had the fortune to spend time with, and their company was probably the highlight of the evening for me.
Here's a video. If you fast forward to 6:44, that's when I come out.
But if you want a sense of what it was really like, look at this:
These were my fellow models- just realizing now how much bigger my boobs look in comparison...
Oh, and here's another little tidbit of criticism/advice. If you're running a silent auction, and offering tickets to events, it's helpful if you put the day, time, location and actual ticket price in the item description. Also, if you're at such an event, bored and drinking wine, it's only going to be funny to bid on an item if you don't win it. Even less funny would be if the silent auction price was more than the student discount price, and if the show was on a day your boyfriend, the only person you could possibly coerce into going with you, is going to be out of town... guess how I know...
Also, here are some Music Seens that I've written lately: J. Biddy, Astronautalis, The Toughcats and some local indie rock.
From there, we basically spent the next three (no joke) hours hanging out, watching girls get their hair done and change into the outfits they were going to model. At one point, Ashley showed up and said she was there to volunteer. Her volunteer duties included arriving, being told to stand around until someone found a job for her. Apparently, after the check in person showed up, all of the jobs were taken because Ashley, Laura and I had a lot of time to check out (ahem, critique) all of the hair, makeup, and fashion unfolding around us. Lucky for me, Laura and Ashley are probably some of the most stylish people I've ever had the fortune to spend time with, and their company was probably the highlight of the evening for me.
Here's a video. If you fast forward to 6:44, that's when I come out.
But if you want a sense of what it was really like, look at this:
| http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi259327769/ |
These were my fellow models- just realizing now how much bigger my boobs look in comparison...
Oh, and here's another little tidbit of criticism/advice. If you're running a silent auction, and offering tickets to events, it's helpful if you put the day, time, location and actual ticket price in the item description. Also, if you're at such an event, bored and drinking wine, it's only going to be funny to bid on an item if you don't win it. Even less funny would be if the silent auction price was more than the student discount price, and if the show was on a day your boyfriend, the only person you could possibly coerce into going with you, is going to be out of town... guess how I know...
Also, here are some Music Seens that I've written lately: J. Biddy, Astronautalis, The Toughcats and some local indie rock.
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