2008 in Review

In the last year, things have changed quite a bit. The biggest change, for all of us, of course, is our selection of Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States. Our country is in one of the lowest of the lows, and this is huge. It seems like this is a moment in history our kids will be asking us about, and we'll remember.

For me, personally, things have changed quite a bit. The year I had my first skinny dip. My first apartment, all to myself. My first case of Shingles. SO many new friends. The top three events to define 2008 would have to be Paddling for My Soul (Moose River canoe trip.) The Break Up. And I know it sounds ridiculous, but singing I Would Do Anything for Love with Tess at karaoke. I think I'm that much closer to figuring out who I am and what I want- I almost feel like a different person. A new woman. I've gone from dating a journalist to Journalistic dating. And rekindling. Spring break Indiana wasn't bad, either.

Here are a few other standout 2008 things:

My cat Baby!

ChaCha!

Telethon at WABI (I do what I do for YOU!)

Best Birthday ever! (Thanks, ladies!)

The Theme Party that was not to Be.

Homecoming at Space.

DZUSA and Feel It Robot.

Best burger ever at Kelly's birthday party- it was made of Bison!

My Beyonce Pandora station.

"Hey, You bitches want some olives?"

The Mujoy Hill Exxodus (and the bittersweetness of it all.)

Gossip Girl.

The iPhone, obviously.

Booze or Bacon?

darcy: if you had to give up drinking or meat what would you choose?
me: whoa. that's really hard, considering i've done both.
darcy: so?
me: well. what would you give up?
both are really important parts of my life...
on one hand, i can't imagine not coming home and grabbing a beer after a really hard day at work.
or whatever.

darcy: right
me: but on the other, i don't know if i could go the rest of my life dealing with the smell of cooked bacon.
it would be more economical if i chose to give up drinking, but it makes me sound like a lush if i give up meat.

darcy: yeah i don't know what i'd choose either
me: i guess i'd have to choose meat and be that jerk that brings the boca burger to the bbq.

Prop 8- The Musical

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Just a Quickie

I know I've been a deadbeat blogger. Here are some things.

• I love Beyonce's new single.
• My apartment might not be too small for parties.
• Over Thanksgiving I read five books in one day (to a child.)
• This month is my three year Portland anniversary. Hard to believe.
• At karaoke at the gay bar a drag queen compared me to Thora Birch in Ghost World, and after my performance told me I'd won a gold medal in the Hipster Olympics.
• I broke my iPhone and was able to get it replaced for free. My guy was so cute I couldn't help but flirt. Never underestimate the power of being cute.
• OMFG Gossip Girl!
• The Darjeeling Limited is on repeat at my house.
• This month I'm making my NPR debut.
• Making new friends is incredible.
• I'm finally interested in new music again.
• I subscribe to the Woody Allen theory of first kisses.

Hope all is well.

Warm Up to Winter

I just ordered this coat online. I couldn't help myself! I'll let you know how it turns out.

The New Apartment! Revealed!

Happy Halloween!

On my way home, my last walk home to the Hill, I saw two Uma Thurman character costumes. Poison Ivy and that chick from Pulp Fiction, with the syringe sticking out. Ha! Ivy and syringe! Then someone dressed as the teen wolf waved at me from across the street, as if we were friends. I couldn't tell who it was because they were wearing a mask.

I decided to stay in, battle a cold, and prepare for the big Move. At the video rental place, I felt as though I should've gotten Psycho, or something. But then remembered the last time I attempted to watch a scary movie on Halloween. It was the reissue of the Exorcist in the theater, and I'd never seen it before. I drove about 90 miles an hour home, went to bed with the light on, but was completely convinced that my bed was shaking. I slept maybe two hours that night, and for the next two months I'd be falling asleep then bolted awake by the moving bed. There were no earthquakes in Lewiston, so it had to have been an evil demon trying to possess me.

I left the store with When Harry Met Sally. Very Safe.

My New Digs

Pringles Come in a Can

It just occured to me that Pringles taste a lot like cold Burger King french fries, just crunchier.

That's right. I'm eating Pringles. I made sure to NOT accidentally get the fat-free kind made with Olestra, which causes anal leakage. It didn't actually happen, even though there is a WARNING LABEL, but it was a very stressful 24 hours of my life.

Chocolate Dipping

This afternoon I had a bit of a renactment of this episode of I Love Lucy when I was posting about 900 peices of mail. I thought I'd post it... the humor really stands the test of time, I think.

Stars "Bitches in Tokyo"

Lewiston High School, Class of '02

The girls and I decided to eat massive Rosie's cheeseburgers this weekend before going out to karaoke. I'm sitting there, burger juice dripping down my arm, and I see a man who I'd met a few weeks before. Since he was new in town, I prayed there was no cheeseburger on my face, turned around and said hello to the Carhart overall-wearing man on my left, Matt. We exchanged pleasantries, but it was brief, since it's not exactly polite to carry on a conversation while holding a giant cheeseburger.


A few minutes goes by, and a man comes over to our table, and crouches next to me and introduces himself.

"Hey, so how do you know Matt?"

"Matt??" I did not see the people Matt with the Carharts came in with.

"You know, my friend Matt," he gestures.

"Ohhh. That Matt." I explain that he's a friend of a friend, who I'd met only once before, meanwhile I'm thinking, what the hell is this guy doing over here, where could this possibly be going. You see, this man, who for the purpose of this story shall remain nameless, taught at my high school. It escapes me what exactly he taught, Jobs for Maine Graduates or something along those lines in the vocational wing. His classroom might have even been attached to the school store. Anyhow, I knew of this man for two reasons- the first was that my locker was right outside his class, and he was a young, handsome new teacher; the second was that he had to leave his job because he slept with student. That's right. He's Mrs. Robinson. From what I understand, the chick was 18, not that it makes it okay.

So he's going on and on. "You look so familiar, where have I seen you before, do you work downtown, etc." I'm thinking, "Holy effing shit I can't believe this is happening." Two of the three other people at my table had no idea what was going on, the other watched in horror.

It was at this time that I decided to go big or go home. I looked him directly in the face and said, "I went to Lewiston High School." He shut right up. 'Caught with his pants down' as my mother would say. It looked like I had sucker punched him in the stomach, and I wish I was quicker at the draw with the camera on the iPhone. He proceeds to make some even more awkward conversation about the high school, finally asking me if I was proud of my Lewiston heritage. I blinked twice for emphasis (did he really just ask me that?) I said I didn't know how to answer his question, because really, nine o'clock at Rosie's was neither the time nor the place for me to explain my complex feelings of being born and raised in Lewiston, let alone in front of two Bates graduates (humble, but proud and very defensive.) Finally acknowledging his defeat, he stood up and left with a meek, "Go Blue Devils."

The Ancient Japanese Art of Karaoke

For the past few Saturday nights in a row, a few friends of mine and I have been going out to karaoke night at a former gay bar called the Flask Lounge. And it's amazing. I don't understand the social stigma that comes with karaoke- every time I've been to this particular night it turns into one big giant dance party. Journey, "Don't Stop Believing;" Mama's and the Papas "California Dreaming;" any number of Bruce Springsteen songs; Fleetwood Mac; someone always does You're the One I Love from the Grease soundtrack... There are a few 'regulars' who are truly karaoke masters, who shine in the spotlight, tear it up, if you will. Other times the song isn't quite the right choice or the stage presence isn't there, but that's when you talk about the next song you're doing, get a drink, use the bathroom. In fact, I'd go so far as to say karaoke has been my sex substitute as of late- singing, dancing, my heart rate goes up, I start sweating... And no babies!

I've only ever sang once at karaoke, and it was... painful for everyone involved. My own boyfriend didn't even suck up and tell me that I did okay. It was Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, which sounded good in theory, but in actuality was really difficult. In my mind, the key is to pick a song that you already know some of the words to. I've been picking out the perfect song. It has to be something that everyone knows, gets excited about, and isn't too vocally challenging, because I'm rather tone-deaf. I'm thinking it's going to be a Violent Femmes song, but my ears have been open. Once, my friend Hillary tried to convince me that I should be in an all-girl band with her and Mandy- I was like but Hilla, I don't PLAY anything. She said it's okay, you can sing, you have the look! I'll try to remember that next weekend.

Oh, and there's this guy, who gets in on all the action with his inflateable guitar. He gives the term 'air guitar' a whole new meaning...

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, Of Course.

Homecoming- A Night to Remember

When I found out that Space was throwing an all out Homecoming Dance, I got really, really excited. The only thing I could do to not jump out of my skin with excitement was listen to Meatloaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love' on repeat, for an hour. I picked out my date, started shopping for a dress, and decided that this would be the end all be all of dances- to make up for all those dances gone wrong in high school. Like the time Annie ran over Renee's foot with the car. Or when I asked this college guy, and he still came, even though he was totally into someone else and I was resentful all night. OR when I went to Mandy's prom and everyone at her school thought I was her lesbian lover.

But a week before the dance, the 'date' I had picked out and just wanted to be friends, in perfect unpredictable fashion. So Mandy and I had a re-do of her prom in '03. On the big night, I went over to her place to get ready- pick out shoes, fashion elaborate updos, and inexpertly apply mascara. Two Sex and the City episodes later, we headed out in our three inch heels, ready to dance the night away.

And basicly, that's what we did! I danced, danced, danced. All the girls looked really pretty, and all the boys looked really handsome. I mean, we're not the kinds of people who exactly put on 'going out' clothes, you know? When we arrived the band formerly known as Cult Maze was getting ready to go on, and I was unbelievably happy- they were one of my favorite local bands until they broke up. They covered Feel Like Makin' Love, My Boyfriend's Back, and much to my utter delight MEATLOAF!! It was prefect. I could not stop smiling. The last time I'd felt that happy had to have been the This American Life live show, when Mates of State played. From then on the night was pretty dream-like, including photos, and even an onstage dance party started by yours truly and my Mandy. Some girl told us we were the 'hottest bitches in Portland.' I danced myself nauseous in three inch heels.

At some point, I happened to tell Mandy that I thought a boy was cute, she proceeded to tell his brother, and I spent the rest of the night coyly making eye contact from across the room. But in true high school fashion, I was too shy to actually let him come over and risk letting something happen (not even after a little liquid courage in the form of bottled PBR.)

We ended the night taking the Limo Taxi home to the Hill. I only wish I would have seen the faces of everyone milling about when the limo pulled up and we got in. There was no Red Hot 95.9, but he only charged us five bucks, which would've been less than an actual cab!

I'll take a side of truth with that coffee

Me: Good Morning

Brian: Good Morning, how's it going?

Me: S'ok. Tired, though. I stayed up late watching Gossip Girl. That show is amazing, just perfect. You just... Turn your brain off. I love it.

Brian: Yeah, I bet you were watching Sex and the City, too.

Me (not making eye contact): Yeah...

Brian: I can smell it a mile away! And then you wonder why you have problems with dudes in your life!

Me: ...(silence.)

woody Allen: Still Got It.

I've been satisfying a lot of guilty pleasures as of late- like listening to a crapload of Beyonce, watching movies like Superbad and Pineapple Express, and putting Laguna Beach and Gossip Girl at the top of my Queue. Is it because it's been summer and this is what you're supposed to do? Like, beach all day, then Gossip Girl then margaritas on the patio? Maybe. But it's also possible that I'm trying to make up for lost pop-culture time. It's possible I crossed the line, though, when on a recent trip to Marden's, I purchased a Gossip Girls novel for three dollars.

It's now the beginning of fall (yes, I said it.) I'm going to try and stimulate myself creatively. I'm most likely moving next month, so maybe this is a good time for me to do some more productive things with my time. Actually use those brain cells! I'm excited to say that I just saw Vicky Christina Barcelona, and not only was it amazing, but it reminded me that there needs to be more zing in my life.

Maybe I'll start that novel, finally. It's time to decide how I'll keeep myself occupied this winter, and, you know, figure out what I'm doing with my life.

Breaking News

Another year, another Teleton, another brilliant Photoshop job.

Me and the iPhone Don't Care What You Think

have I mentioned I'm now the proud owner of the new iPhone? It's 6 a.m., I'm at Telethon, waiting for the percolator to warm up, the volunteers to show, the phones to ring, and all I can think to do is blog about the iPhone and how cool it is.

So far, the best use of the iPhone was this past weekend. In the car we hooked it up to the car stereo. I then YouTubed the Lazy Sunday SNL digital short and we sang along on our way to Old Orchard Beach. I can also shop online while riding the bus. Last night I used the camera to take ridiculous pictures of my coworkerspretending to be anchors on WABI TV-5, then upload and tag them on Facebook. The iPhone is incredibly self-aware; it can capitalize it's own name, and knows what kind of accent to use on 'touché.' Though I try to not let this gadget get in the way of my normal social interactions, I have on several occasions walked by my destination because my head was buried in the iPhone.

If Craig were to read this, he'd tell me I sound like I'm working for Apple. In this case, I'd have to agree. I just found out I can stream mp3s. Seriously.

Can you hear me now?

Welcome to the world of mobile blogging! I just have to comment- sometimes there are people on my bus at 8am who stay on the phone for more than, say, 5 minutes. I can't help but wonder who on earth they're possibly having a conversation with so darn early. I mean, seriously. Most of my fellow commuters probably aren't working the kind of lucrative job that requires them to be available by phone 24/7.

I'm listening to Funeral by Arcade Fire, and it's still as good as the first time. It's more intense than doing it in a tent! (Get it?)

More to come on the most epic canoe trip of all time.