Facebook Follies

Facebook is creepy and it makes me feel creepy. How does it know who I want to see in my news feed?

I think it knows that Cleveland and I are in a relationship, even though we're not "In a Relationship." I keep getting ads for engagement rings on the left hand side of the page and I always 'x' them out because they are incredibly disturbing, and I specify that the ad is offensive. He's also always, constantly at the top of my news feed. How does it know? Is it keeping track of who I poke?

Anyway, Facebook also does this thing where it shows you teasers from people's photo albums, if you're say, writing a message or responding to an event. Even if you weren't thinking about wasting time on clicking through people's vacation photos, seeing a snippet can be enticing. Remember when looking at vacation photos was like, a boring chore you did just to be polite? I do, vaguely.

I happen to take Facebook up on the offer to look at one of Cleveland's photo albums, from a family trip to Central America. There was a picture of an iguana, and he'd written a caption about how most of his pictures from the trip were of iguanas, because deep down he's actually like, seven. I laughed out loud, recalling a few nights before that he couldn't go back to sleep after having a bad dream.

Since I wasn't doing anything except lurking on the internet at that particular moment, I decided to share the picture with Mandy, because I knew wasn't doing anything and she'd appreciate the humor.

Approximately six minutes later, much to my horror, I realize I posted it to my news feed instead of sending it as a message.

IT WAS ON MY WALL FOR THE WHOLE FACEBOOK WORLD TO SEE!!

I 'x'ed it out as fast as I could while trying not to hyperventilate. Not everyone knows that we're dating- I'm not trying to hide anything, well, except for here. But if I posted one of his vacation photos to my wall it would   be like doodling I Heart Cleveland, Mrs. Amanda Jennifer Ohio all over my "About me" section. I sort of held my hands up so as not to accidentally click the wrong button again, and frantically looked around the computer screen to see if there were any clues indicating that anyone noticed. He told me he was writing, but anyone who does any work on a computer knows how easy it is to get Facebook-sidetracked. But it was 9 p.m. on a Saturday night and Facebook seemed pretty dead.

We weren't hanging out that night because it was my last double shift at Maine Roasters Coffee, and after waking up at 5 a.m. to work from 6 a.m. - 6 p.m., the last think you want to do is hang out. Plus we were going to the yurt the next day. He didn't mention it, so I didn't mention it, and I don't think anyone else saw it...