Olestra

I am a bargain-loving, surplus, salvage, thrift store shopper. So while on a short break from work to CVS, the closest place to grab a soda or other carbonated beverage, I noticed there were some Pringles on sale. As I might have mentioned before, around 3:00 I hit what we call "The Three O'clock Slump," which is a point in my day where I have to force myself to not lay my head down on my desk and doze, let alone get anything done. Great way to break the slump: salty snack. So I buy the Pringles, which are only $.99, an awesome deal, and promptly devour half the can that afternoon. I probably would have done so even if they weren't the low-fat kind. The low fat part was sort of an added bonus.

Until the Monday Morning Meeting the next Monday, and I'm informed, I ate half a can of Pringles made with OLESTRA, which causes anal leakage! Anal Leakage! I couldn't believe it, but then also couldn't stop thinking about my bowl movement for the rest of the day. Like, I just farted. Could something have leaked? How can I tell? Do I feel it? ...What a nightmare.

And if you love talking about bowel movements, go to the poopreport.com, where you can learn, among other things, what it actually means if your poop floats.