February 12, 2013

Adventures in Chiropractic Medicine

I went to a chiropractor for the first time today. Many of my friends have been seeing one, I've been having some unexplained aches and tensions. Why NOT see a chiropractor? My insurance and FSA are just sitting there, cogs in our completely messed up healthcare system, waiting to be utilized.

First, I turned to Facebook for some old-fashioned crowd sourcing. Ideally, I'd find a female doctor somewhere between home and work. The first suggestions missed the mark by about ten miles. I got impatient and Googled some random woman on the internet.

At my consultation appointment a week later, I was a few minutes later and Instagrammed this:


Here's the weird part.

"Amanda?" says nice lady with clipboard.

"Hi, nice to meet you."

"I'm sorry, can you tell me how to say your last name?"

"pl-OUGH" (Rhymes with snow, go, chateau. See what I did there? Let's go find a woodstove or something)

"Oh! Like p-l-o."

(eyes roll)

So we make small talk as she measures my spine, posture, pulse and whatever.

"How long have you been at your job?" as I rotate my head to the left and right as far as I could comfortable.

"Oh, uh, since May. Before that I was a student..."

"..."

"A non-traditional student."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, like traditional students go straight from high school to college and graduate around 21. I took some time off or whatever. I just say that because I don't want people to think it took me ten years to get my undergraduate degree."

"..."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that or anything."

"No, that's just what my son did! He took 6 or 7 years off and worked for a while. Then he went back to school. Once you take some time to figure out what you want to study it helps you get more serious."

"Yeah!"

"So what was your major?"

"Media Studies."

"That's was my son's major too! Oh! You should meet!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Is he doing some video production work now?"

"Yeah, and a little of this a little of that. He's also working at [name redacted]"*

*local independent record store that I worked at for a while in and immediately after high school.

For a minute I had to be like, wait a minute, have I boned your son? But no, I checked and re-checked my mental list. She said she was from Biddeford and I'm nearly positive I've never dated, made out with or anything else otherwise anyone from Biddeford. This also explains why she couldn't pronounce my last name: Biddeford residents are famous (in southern Maine) for bastardizing the pronunciation of French words.

See you at La Kermesse (LAKEr-mess), Biddo.

Oh, this is how effed my muscles are:



The left illustration shows what normal muscles are supposed to look like on the stress scale or whatever. I only have 4 normal muscles, and T8 is so disrupted it's off the Green, Blue, Red scale. It's taken the Black! Winter is coming!

More later. Bye. 

Have you seen a chiropractor? How is it? Have you ever witnessed a Biddeford resident Jon Snow'ing a French word?

6 comments:

broke207.com said...

i won't lie, i don't trust chiropractors. on one hand, they do seem to help people (however that works), but on the other hand they go around with their white coats all like "call me dr. steve", when they never actually went to medical school/are not real doctors. the "science" behind chiropractic is tenuous at best, and that's where i get off the bus.

but again... many intelligent people who i love and trust seem to think they're great. thus, i'm conflicted. if you found it helpful, i say go for it. if not, at least you got a hilarious story about realizing that you porked your chrio's son.

amanda jennifer said...

This place actually felt more like a place where someone would be getting a prenatal massage or something.... Definitely more babies than I was comfortable with.

The main reason I made the appointment is because my muscles have been feeling particularly out of whack lately. Twice in the last six months I've woken up with a "sleeping injury,." Like all of a sudden there was intense pain in places there shouldn't have been form doing nothing other than sleeping. Will it help? I hope so! I'll keep you posted.

Kate. said...

i agree re: doubtable effects of chiro - i went to one after a car accident, and they told me that spinal health was a precursor to everything else health, so i just basically had to come for the rest of my life! and they weren't into set it and forget it, nooo, i had to come 2-3x a week. and they don't accept insurance, so you have to pay out of pocket & be reimbursed by your ins. so that's why i didn't recommend them, even though they were super nice ladies. also love jon snow as a verb.

Gwen said...

So, how's your back now? Did you keep seeing the chiropractor? Actually, chiropractors should be given credit for what they're doing. Most people don't know much about them and what they can do. For one, people won't suggest that you see a chiropractor if they haven't done anything good on them, right? Another thing, a chiropractor holds a D.C degree which stands for "Doctor of Chiropractic" which means they really are doctors.

Gwen Knight

Betsy Collyer said...

Chiropractors are really helpful when it comes to healing joint pains. However, you shouldn't visit any practitioner around the corner. Be sure that he's an expert by doing a background check. You can ask their previous clients to know about their work too. With a trustworthy chiropractor, you'll be assured that your health is in good hands.

Betsy @ US HealthWorks Medical Group Santa Clara Center

Alan Siegel said...

Chiropractic care is, indeed, helpful in healing joint and muscle pains. However, you have to consult a reputable chiropractor to attend to your needs. It's almost a year now, and I hope you benefitted a lot in the chiropractic treatment. How are you now? :)

Alan Siegel @ ProClinix.com

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